Why The Hell Not?
by ProudToBeRandom
Summary: Near shockingly left his role of being L's successor. He dissapeared! Two years later they find him. This story features random comedy, many questions, and my OCs! Read and enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**Written randomly, while watching 30 Rock. Based it off that show. Hope you like the random comedy! Yes, my OCs are included, cuz I'm a nerd. They are mine, MINE! :P **

Anyway… Enjoy!

Chapter 1.

Mello, Matt, and Near, L's 3 successors. Mello, Matt, L, and Watari are alive. Don't ask why.

"You three, I have chosen my successor. With the help of Watari and Rodger." L spoke normally, his voice slightly smiling.

In the room was also the Japanese Task Force, and the SPK.

"Mello, its you."

The statement was brief, and the silence following it was unbearable. Near remained emotionless. Mello was in shock. Matt suddenly yelled out, "HOLY S***! CONGRATS MELLO!"

Matt gave Mello a one-arm hug, with a huge smile. The news must have sunk in, because Mello had a huge grin. Near placed his hand on Mello's shoulder and actually smiled, Matt noticed, Mello did not. Watari chuckled, and Rodger patted Mello on the back.

Yet, the next day is when the truly surprising news was heard.

"L! There is a problem…" Watari entered the room.

"Yes?" L was in the middle of briefing Mello and Matt on their futures.

"As Near did not show up… I went to retrieve him… He's gone!"

…

"WHAT?"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

It has been two years since that day. Of course, L put out a search team, but soon it had gone on long enough. Mello and Matt where doing well, as partners, and rarely had to see L.

Until…

"L, why have you called us here, has something happened?" Mello asked, biting off a piece of chocolate.

"Yeah, what's up?" Matt asked smiling.

"Rodger found a lead…"

"A lead?"

"We think we know where Near is."

"…How?" Matt asked.

"Rodger found an article. Its about a comedy show, reading the list of writers that participate of in, he found the name Nate River. Near probably wasn't able to change his name as he left us and our resources. I got a picture of him, and we want you two to help us identify if it is him."

L slid the picture across the desk.

It was a picture of a boy, about 19 or 20 years of age. Black hair, with white streaks. Thin and lanky, with an emotionless look to himself.

Mello stated, "Its him." With only a few brief glances at the picture.

"Then lets get going." L smirked.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3.

"IT IS BECAUSE OF YOU ALL THAT I'VE HAD MY MID-LIFE CRISIS AT 19!" Nate shouted.

His fellow two writers, Vix and Knite, slammed their heads on the table.

"Actors aren't people… They have no… souls!" Knite sighed exasperated.

"EVERYBODY! ACTOR ANNOUNCEMENT! I've decided to change my rights as a person to an animal so I can defy all the realms of space and time!"

"Zaff. You make NO SENSE. Are you high?" Nate shouted.

The second star of the show, next to Zaff, walked in the writers room. "Whoever has been putting acid in my shampoo to burn my scalp, better quit it!"

Nate isn't sure how he found out he was good at writing. He just changed his outer appearance slightly, and was hired here. He loves it. Its stressful, and he thinks because of all the high- stress of the job that he will die at forty. Yet, he didn't care.

His other writers, for the show "Seeming Appearance," hired him so young, because apparently he was funny. It was a comedy skit show, starring Zaff (his last name is unknown to the media, and he is highly stupid and crazy.) It also stars Ember Fuoco. Who is highly strung, and evil…

Nate's sarcasm apparently appeals to most, and after a few months on the job, he realized he had a huge comedic skills. Apparently. It came naturally to him, and was trying to improve his skills.

Soon arguing immersed, and Nate's temper (which reveals itself a lot when dealing with Ember and Zaff) snapped.

"THAT'S IT! I haven't had any sleep for TWO WEEKS. Stop arguing, NOW!"

"I sometimes have the need to punch you in the face, Zaff." Knite stated calmly.

Vix was in her weekly mood of depression.

Just the normal, everyday routine.

"Hey, who are you guys?" Vix asked, looking in the direction of the door. "How long have you been standing there?"

Knite shrugged, and Nate turned around.

He could have sworn his heart stopped.

"Hello, Near."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4.

"Nate? Nate? Helllllllooooo?" Zaff questioned, hovering near Nate's face.

"You okay?~" Zaff smiled his signature smile, but realized Nate must have been in shock, he hasn't uttered a word in the last three, long, long minutes.

"How did you fi-" Nate suddenly spat out, but was cut off.

L was unwrapping a lollipop, when he interrupted, "How did we find you, Near? Its very simple. I have some questions."

"Ohhh, this is some strange tension, and we should probably leave." Knite hurriedly got up from his seat, and pointed to his office, since he was head-writer. "Or you four could use that room. You alright there, Nate?"

Nate's face remained blank.

Vix also got up, "Lets go to the cafeteria, I haven't eaten anything since breakfast… yesterday."

"Does no one care that I think my scalp is burning off?"

"No."

"But I wanna watch!~ OW!"

"Shut up Zaff."

After much discussion, the room was empty, aside from L, Mello, Matt, and Near.

"How did you find me?" Near asked again.

"Rodger read the paper. With our intelligence, it wasn't that hard." L said, stepped closer to Near.

"Why did you come, then? Why did it take you two years? Why now?"

"Well, why the hell did you leave?" Mello raising his voice.

Near flinched, but remained standing strong.

"Woah, Near, you've changed."

"Thank you, Matt. I trust you have been well?"

Mello stepped the closest to Near. "I asked you a question! Answer us, dammit!"

Near looked down, and said, "I like this life that I have, so I don't understan-"

"Why did you leave?" L, again, interrupted.

Near cocked his head up, and looked at the three older men, in the eyes.

"Why the hell not?" Near hissed.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5.

L looked shocked at what Near had just said. "You where one of the top three geniuses in the world, and with your logic mind, leaving wasn't the best option."

"I left because I was working to be L's successor. Even on the Kira Case, I saw how straining the job could be. I strived for it though, with all my being. But I wasn't chosen, which I must thank you for. It pushed me to leave on my own, to see what else I could do. For once, I acted on impulse. I regret nothing, so I don't understand why you came to find me."

"Near, why wouldn't we?" Matt smirked, and said, "You are like a little lost lamb, we though you died after the first week!"

"Wow. That's for believing in me."

Mello pitched in, "It seemed you had no real world skills. No our fault."

"Yeah, that makes me feel better."

"You've gotten more sarcastic, haven't you?"

"Yes, Matt. Yes I have."

**This whole story was written in like an hour. Probably won't write more. But I hope you enjoyed. =^_^= **


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